Feelings of Maturity
by LinaIX
Summary: As Miaka matures, leaving Tamahome behind, she finds feelings for someone else.


Feelings of Maturity  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Fushigi Yugi or any of it's characters.  
  
  
  
  
  
As usual…it seemed Miaka was in a sort of predicament. She loved Tamahome, and always would, but it seemed that something was tugging at the back of her mind. She couldn't quite place it, but her love for Tamahome didn't seem like the same sort of love. She was so confused! But, really, who could she talk to about a thing like this? Everyone seemed to be routing for her and Tamahome to be together in the end. She sighed softly as she sat down on her bed. He seemed like a big brother to her now, a protector, nothing more. After all you could love someone for simply protecting you…couldn't you?  
  
She undid the ribbons in her hair, grateful to have her hair down. Why did she still continue to wear her hair up, and why did she insist on wearing that damned school uniform constantly? She felt like she needed a change, like she was growing up too quickly and leaving Tamahome behind to pick insignificant fights with Tasuki. She pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, then took off the jacket of her uniform. She frowned deeply as she held the jacket, then threw it off to the side.  
  
"Tomarrow, they will see a different Miaka Yuki. I'm tired of pretending to be the same silly girl, following Tamahome around like a lost puppy…" And with that she got ready for bed.  
  
  
  
He didn't know if anyone else had noticed, much less Tamahome, but Miaka had been seemingly distant, not herself these past few days. Chichiri sat on his bed, staring at the wall across from him, mask on the night table. He had certainly noticed. She seemed more mature than the girl he had advised to take responsibillllity for her actions, when they first met.  
  
"Perhaps, with everything going on, she has been forced to grow up a bit too quickly y'know." He mused outloud, knowing that atleast in his room he was able to speak freely of his thoughts and feelings, without anyone overhearing something they shouldn't. He hated the fact that she was growing up so quickly, yet liked the fact. He had always enjoyed speaking to her. While they traveled, the two would have conversations here and there…usually when Miaka couldn't sleep. He hardly slept, always dreaming of his best friend from so long ago. He closed his eye with a sigh, leaning his head back. He thought he might have a feeling of why he was thinking of her so much lately, but would hate to admit it. History has a way of repeating itself…  
  
  
  
Miaka stepped into the dining area for breakfast and was met with many curious and shocked glances. She smiled inwardly, knowing that when she had first slipped on the peasent robes she had tucked away, that everyone would be surprised to see her in them. She smiled brightly, pretending she didn't know what all of the fuss was about and gave everyone a wave.  
  
"Good morning!" She greeted them cheerfully as she sat down at her usual place near the head of the table. "How is everyone this morning?" And again she was met by confused looks, from all except for one, who always wore an illusion of a smile.  
  
"I'm sure everyone is fine this morning Priestess, just a bit shocked at the sudden change in your wardrobe, y'know." She blinked then looked down at her clothes.  
  
"Ah…well. I figured that my uniform was getting a bit ragged, seeing I wear it all of the time, so, I managed to buy this…besides…don't I blend in a bit better now?" She was pleased with herself, seeing that most everyone was still speechless. Perhaps they would take her a bit more seriously from now own. "Besides, change is always something nice. Maybe we all could use one…"  
  
"That's true Priestess. And I must say that you look much more mature than you did before, y'know. I think that the change suits you." Chichiri agreed, nodding his head once as everyone finally came to their senses and ate breakfast. Miaka felt as if she couldn't take her eyes off of Chichiri, and wasn't sure why. Could this, perhaps, be the reason for the change in her feelings for Tamahome? Or ws it because he was the only one not to gawk at her like she grew a second head? Either way, it was nice to receive compliments from him. She rose from her chair, brushing her braided hair over her shoulder and turned to walk out. She stopped when she heard Tamahome's voice.  
  
"Aren't you hungry Miaka? You haven't seemed to have eaten very much these past few weeks…" She turned and gave him a bright smile  
  
"No I'm not, but thank you for asking Tamahome. I may eat a little later on." With that she walked out, heading towards the courtyard.  
  
  
  
When Miaka walked out, Chichiri felt compellled to follow her, to see if there was anything wrong. Grudgingly, he kept to his seat, knowing it wasn't his place, but Tamahome's to go and check on her. He sat back, no longer hungry, and listened to everyone's conversation. The topic seemed to be Miaka.  
  
"Wow…"Nuriko breathed as he played with his food. "I wonder what's gotten into her…"  
  
"It's probably nuthin', ya know girls…can never make up their minds…she'll be the same ol' Miaka in a day or so…"Tasuki said, inbetween bites of food.  
  
"Well…this is really bugging me…" Tamahome said, leaning back in his chair. "She had been acting more and more distant to me lately…Like I did something wrong, only I don't know what exactly." Chichiri sat there silently, wanting to jump up and scream that she was growing up, wanted to make them understand. It seemed that perhaps he was the only one who did. All of the others continued to talk about Miaka's odd behavior as he stood up silently.  
  
"Hey Chichiri…where y'goin'?" Tasuki asked. Chichiri didn't turn around, continuing to walk towards the door.  
  
"I'm not hungry after all, y'know. I think I'm going to clear my mind…" With that he left them, and their conversation about Miaka.  
  
  
  
Miaka sat beside the pond, Chichiri's place to think really, but she had sort of adopted it as time passed. Generally, she could find him there, and talk to him about her problems…or anything really. But this time he wasn't here. He was off eating breakfast with the rest, no doubt, discussing her weird behavior. HE was the only one that didn't look at her like she had lost her mind. He was the only one to talk to her that morning. She sighed softly, coming to understand where her feelings seemed to be leading her. She closed her eyes and let the sunlight warm her cold heart. She felt horrible about her sudden change in feelings for Tamahome, but it couldn't be helped. She couldn't help what her heart led her to.  
  
"Why me…why did I have to fall in love with someone while I'm still with Tamahome…I don't want to hurt him…but what else can I do…?" She started as she heard someone walk up behind her and spun around hoping that whoever it was, didn't hear too much of what she said out loud.  
  
  
  
"Well, I say just follow your heart Priestess…let it guide you y'know. And if Tamahome gets hurt…it won't be everylasting y'know." Chichiri said as he sat beside Miaka. He couldn't help but notice how beautifu she had come to be, and now in this world's clothes.even more so. He shook himself out of his musings and turned to face her, taking his mask off to show her the sincerity in his eyes. He didn't want to reveal too much though, knowing it would cause problems between him and Tamahome. If she really didn't want to be with Tamahome any longer, then he would wait. He would wait until she told Tamahome, then wait longer until Tamahome came to terms with it. He could wait eternity for her…even if she would stay with Tamahome, he would stand there by her side, giving her advice and someone to talk to. He did love her as a man loves a woman, but he also loved her as a friend. And as a friend, he wanted her to be happy. After all, with true friends, one's happiness is the others. He smiled when he saw a soft smile grace her lips.  
  
"That's what I thought you'd say…" She said quietly. "And that's what I intend to do. I'm not sure how much you heard Chichiri, but I don't love Tamahome in the same way any more, and had just been avoiding what's bound to happen. I'm not sure why, though. Maybe, I'm still a little bit of that silly girl who had first arrived in this world." She crossed her arms lightly, then her smile dissapeared. "I love someone else. I…can't tell you who it is, for fear that it may get back to them somehow…before I have a chance to tell Tamahome what I feel." He nodded once. He expected that, afterall, she could tell him anything, but people overhear a lot around the palace, just like he had overheard Miaka's conversation with herself. He completely understood.  
  
  
  
Miaka smiled once more and gave Chichiri a warm hug, something she couldn't recall ever doing. She closed her eyes when she felt him return the embrace. She knew now, that telling Tamahome was something she had to do. After feeling Chichiri's arms around her, she knew how right it felt and knew in her heart that was where she belonged.  
  
"Thank you Chichiri. You are always so good to me…" She grudgingly let him go and stood. Everyone should have been done with breakfast and she felt an urge to talk with Tamahome as soon as she possibly could. Just before he slipped his mask back on she caught sight of a small smile, and something.something she couldn't place in his eyes.  
  
"That's what I'm here for y'know." He said, staring into the water. She nodded then headed off.  
  
  
  
That hug had taken him by surprise. He definantly hadn't expected that. Not it was a bad thing or anything…he loved the fact that he could hold her, even if it was just for a brief moment. He sighed softly knowing that in a matter of time, everyone in the palace was going to hear Tamahome's raised voice. He hoped that he wouldn't have to hear it. Tamahome was a friend, not a very close friend, but a friend none the less. And he hated to see his friends go through any sort of pain. The truly sad thing would be was that no matter where Miaka went in the palace, she would hear people talking about what had happened. He looked up at the sky as he got an idea.  
  
"I could take her away for a while…give her a break y'know. Perhaps that would help ease her pain." He smiled inwardly, knowing that if she agreed he would be doing that for himself as well as her. He loved the time they spent alone together, even if it was just to talk about what was bothering Miaka. He wanted her to be able to take a vacation of sorts, to be able to be away from everyone. They seemed to be drawn to her, always talking to her, and hanging around. He knew she had to be beginning to feel claustrophobic somewhat. He was shaken from his thoughts by a loud shout.  
  
"You don't WHAT?!"  
  
"You're going to WHAT?!"  
  
"You can't be serious!"  
  
He heard Tamahome's voice all too well, filled with confusion. Of course he wouldn't understand. Noone seemed to understand Miaka anymore, except for him. But Miaka allowed him to understand her. She always came to him with her problems.  
  
  
  
With tears in her eyes, Miaka turned and walked out of Tamahome's room. It broke her heart to do what she just did, but she had to. She no longer loved him like he loved her. She walked to her room and closed the door behind her, actually somewhat relieved that her feelings were out in the open…about Tamahome anyway. She had one other person to talk to now, and she felt that was going to take a bit more courage than her previous conversation. She closed her eyes and leaned against the door, relaxing just a bit, though ready for anyone to come to her door, asking about Tamahome's shouts. And sure enough, there were footsteps then a knock on her door.  
  
"Who is it?" She asked softly, not really wanting to be bothered, but knowing that it was unaviodable.  
  
"It's me y'know. I heard, and just wantd to make sure you're alright y'know." Chichiri said. She felt him lean against the door, his back to hers. "I don't have to come in if you want to be alone, we can talk like this if you need to y'know. I'll stay here as long as you need me too…" Miaka felt a blush tint her cheek. She smiled to herself and knew that she had found the courage when she heard his voice. She was grateful to him for everything he had done for her.  
  
"Thank you…" She began softly, still finding some strength to actually tell him how she felt. She took a deep breath then continued. "You said that you'd stay with me as long as I need you too?"  
  
"That I did y'know" His reply came soft, gentle, not at all like the cheery voice he generally uses. She couldn't help but smile. When he continued she blinked, thinking that he would have waited for her to say something else. "And if you want…to get away for a while…I'll take you anywhere you want to go y'know." She leaned her head against the door and closed her eyes. Getting away would be nice. For just a while she'd like to be a normal, average girl, rather than the Priestess of Suzaku.  
  
"Stay with me forever Chichiri?" She said softly, feeling a tear escape her eye. " The one I told you about earlier was you. I love you…I don't know when or where it happened, but I fell deeply in love with you. Take me away from here…anywhere…as long as you're there with me."  
  
"Miaka…"He breathed. It shocked him that he was the one she was in love with, but yet, he was overjoyed. He had dreamed of this moment for a long tme now. He leaned his head against the door and smiled, slipping his mask off. "I…love you too y'know…" He wanted to give her what she wanted, especiallly to take her away for a while…..so that wounds could mend and living in the palace could be easier on everyone. "Alright, pack what you need and we can leave as soon as your ready y'know." He started as he heard the door slip open to see Miaka nose to nose with him, smiling warmly.  
  
"All I need is you…" With that he took off his hat and raised it up as he kissed her softly. In mere moments, they were gone, leaving behind only his mask in front of her open door. 


End file.
